The significance of a CNN broadcast several months ago, where the negative effects of Y2k on chip friers at a large Fried Chicken Emporium were discussed, now acquires a much deeper and sinister meaning.
If the temperature controls on Chip Friers (and I hypothesise that Fish Friers could also be at risk) were to fail, the oil might actually become hot. The devastating effect of crisp, greaseless chips on the British or South African Constitution, genetically conditioned to the soggy or limp variety, cannot be underestimated.
One might as well eat vile "French Fries".
Deprived of normal levels of Grease Ingestion, deaths from hypothermia in the colder months are inevitable.
The barbarity of the imposition of foreign weights and measures resulting from adoption of the Euro are a mere nothing in contrast to the horror of this threat to that bulwark of nutrition, Fish and Chips.
It is widely known that "A nation marches on its stomach", so this is nothing short of an attack on the grand traditions of Western Civilisation.
The consequent decline in standards and moral fibre must be obvious to any thinking person. Empires have been lost on lesser issues, such as race.
Another potential risk, that of chips spilling from the newsprint container and being trampled into the carpet, is also under investigation. This results in the unedifying sight of dogs, cats and children licking the floor, and the consequent health risks. This "Embedded Chip" problem has assumed serious proportions and is believed to occur in from 4% to 10% of average homes.
How encouraging it is to know that Public Monies are being put to such good use by these tireless and energetic workers for the common good, these defenders of Civilisation As We Know It.
My multifarious critcs will no do doubt be offended by this critique. But I am less than impressed when I see vast sums of boodle being expended on trivia.
I know exactly where this all started. Some woolly PR type wanted to "make it all real for the general public". The reality is that consumer goods are a tiny and generally unimportant issue. We are straining at gnats again. Maybe we should be looking at some real issues. Such as SMEs, Training and Infrastructure.