(The lights dim, the curtains part. A Portly Person staggers to the podium)
Good evening Ladies, Gentlepersons and Sundry Creatures.
(Sundry sqeaks, grunts, mewings of approval)
Now that everyone (and their dog) are involved in Y2k the committee has had a difficult job in finding True Y2k Heros, however,
The Y2K Cinderella Project Secretariat are pleased to announce the Winners of the prestigious Cinderella Awards for 1998/1999, in the following categories.
(Drum roll. Symphonic blast)
"And the winners: "
Jointly awarded to Ed Yardeni and Patrick D'Acre
(Loud Shrieks, flinging of female undergarments, Cheers, Applause)
"Please pass me the envelope .."
Irene Dec of Prudential
(Deafening applause. Cries of "more, more...")
The Full Title shall henceforth be "HONORARY LIFETIME UGLY SISTER (WITH STARS AND GARTERS) award"
Citation: "For the Untiring, Relentless and Merciless pursuit of the Sleazier Elements within Y2k, and the highest average email output of any other planetary object.."
"For the Third Year running, the winner is .."
Charles P. Reuben
(Whistles. Cries of "take 'em off...")
CPR: "Thank you, thank you"
Not so fast Charles! We are pleased to announce that Charlie has won another prestigious award tonight. The LUCY VAN PELT "CRABBINESS" award, for 1000 hours of uninterrupted crabbiness. Wear this award with pride, Charles.
CPR: (exeunt left , waving to admiring fans)
"The winner is.."
Isobel Jones, Consumer Rights Activist
(Applause. Yay, Vrystaat, etc..")
Our Sister Organisation, Cinderella's Mice (in their capacities as spokespersons for The World Guild of Singing Mice) have voted unanimously in the following category:
Citation: "For dogged work in lashing South African Corporates into developing Y2 projects and constant nagging to ensure implementation of those action plans.
And the winners are:
Libby Robb and Kathy Kleynhans of 2000 Forum
(Roars of high-pitched approval, squeaks, grunts, "hooray", singing "For they are jolly good fellows".. etc)
Last year we were assisted by a cast of thousands. This year we seem to have a cast of millions.
To Elmar Roberg, Nadine Gronum and the CSSA Y2k SIG committee for enduring endless thankless hours of meetings. At last we can kick the habit.
To Lance Michalson of Hofmeyrs, for writing the first Y2k book for South African Legal beagles, our thanks. Just don't let your little friends sue anybody.
To Mike Golby, Wim Mostert and the NYDSC teams responsible for the brilliant but illfated Small Business Workshops, what can I say. We tried. The Swines just didn't pitch. I hope they go bust.
I suppose we should congratulate the South African NYDSC for finally waking up to the fact that they should provide support to local government, after only two years of procrastination. This must be a new Governmental record.
A special word of thanks to Mohamed Madhi, for dumping the NYDSC and leaving them to scramble for themselves, the most efficient thing that has happened to them in years.
To all the unsung heroes who are burning the midnight oil and doing the grunt work of Remediation and Testing, 1998 was a crucial year and it went by with hardly a whimper. Let us draw a discreet veil over all those missed deadlines. 1999 is now our last ditch chance, let's make it count.
Thanks Guys.
No prizes or certicates or cash or anything are awarded to our glorious Winners.
They merely go forth in the light of Everlasting Fame ..
Our best wishes to you all for a uneventful December 31, 1999.
Goodnight. Sleep Well and don't let the Y2k bug bite.