Y2K: Action Kit for Senior Management

         All you will ever need

         1. Have You heard about the Year 2000 Problem?
               No  -> goto step 6
               Yes -> continue
         2. Will you retire before the Year 2000?
               Yes -> goto step 6
               No  -> arrange early retirement, continue
         3. Can you claim deafness?
               Yes -> goto step 6
               No  -> get earplugs, act vague, continue
         4. Do you own stock in Computers, Aerospace,
            Manufacturing, Finance or Commerce?
               No  -> Not senior enough for Kit,  goto step 6
               Yes -> Sell stock, Invest in real estate, continue
         5. Where did you here about this problem?
                 SOURCE            ACTION (+ indicates Secretary)
             Newspaper/Magazine  + Cancel subscription.
             Bar gossip            Drink alone (cheaper).
             Flunky              + Fire Flunky.
             Secretary           + Burn evidence.
             Finance               Say "No Budget". Frown.
             Lockerroom            Change in car.
             Spouse/child        + Fire Spouse/child.
             Dog                 + Kick Dog.
             Internal Mail       + Shred Mail clerk.
             Government Agency     Ignore (per usual).
             Auditor             + Change Audit firm.
             Vendor              + Change Vendor.
             Conference/Seminar    Avoid such (cheaper).
             Salesperson         + Eject, tighten security.
             Affiliate           + Sell Affiliate.
             Other               + Deny, deny, deny.

          6. No problem            Play Golf.
               (alternatively, resume Normal activity -
                 Lie, Cheat, Steal etc)